It’s clear
Clear
Things seem to come clear when your alone, when you think to yourself, when you ask questions, maybe even when others throw in their two cents. I mean I know success is a great thing to have when looking for a significant other. But what if I was a king soopers cashier? Would I even get the time of day? Driving in my old Ford Exploder… Would I get one look, or two? But I guess those questions are irrelevant right? Just because I am simply beyond that point, I am who I am, I made myself what I am today. So the reason I get the time of day is because of what I made myself and what I became. How can I care for other people though if I can’t take care of myself, I need to stop being so nice. There seems to be a really fine invisible line out there where one crowd thinks I am so cruel and “mentally” mean, and the other crowd thinks I am too nice. I would have to agree with being to nice… It doesn’t make any god damn sense, how can I be so cruel and mean when I am just trying to take care of myself, care for myself, watch out for myself. I’m fucking 20 years old, I haven’t even lived yet, why would I let myself fall so easy. I seem to get myself into things cause I am to nice, I fall into traps every damn day. I need a fucking back bone. Guess what? I have one now. I wipe my own ass (always have, always will), I’ll tell somebody to fuck off now, I’ll use the fuck word to express myself, if somebody gives me shit, I’ll give it right back. This is my venting, this is where things come clear for me slowly, this is where I express my anger, these are the words that come straight out. This is me, being real.
Me
A lot of people think I am emotionless, heartless, a fucking brick wall. It’s true, I am unbreakable. I was raised with only a mother working more than full time as an only child. I isolated myself on computers 24/7, I was alone for more than half my life. It’s still that way, and will probably always be that way. I am content with myself, I have learned to keep my emotions bottled up.
Some thoughts
I am looking for a partner to go 50/50 with for the next big thing, I actually reached out to a friend offering 50% of my entire database of websites and ideas, and for him to help out. He wasn’t interested, I am looking for a partnership aka friendship that could work. Strictly business, this will be big.
PS. Don’t even think for a second that I will be held responsible for anything. You thought you found the gravy train, and it left. It happens every day, deal with it. You wanted control, and you didn’t get it. I am not being taken control of at age 20 with the success I am trying to build. Thank you.
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ANDREW! Amazing! I hope you're new PROJECTS DO GREAT!
I also hope you stay motivated. It's nice to have you BACK! 
I will definitely be posting more soon on my new photo blog :D 
I agree with Dewayne,
Would love to see more, thanks for taking the time, very informative. 
when are we going to see another one of these (?_?) 
It would be a shame to give up these things that have made you as successful as you are. If ...
Hmm, I think I will get into photography myself! I've always loved taking shots when I was helping a freelance ...
One more very interesting post by you.
Comment by Brian Peppers on 27 June 2007:
Good job dave man, you’re finally coming to your senses, you’ve made a genius decision to move states. Cut all contact with your old life, old friends, etc, get a one bedroom apartment, put a bed and a computer in your bedroom, get rid of your TV’s and make being in that room your life. Look at the things that have happened in your life thus far as a gift, how many people do you think have had that amount of life experience at your age? How many minds are as old as yours at your age?
These people think you’re emotionless, heartless, and a fucking brick wall because they haven’t seen and heard as much as you have, so look at them like the fools that they are, and keep it to yourself, let them be, it will only drive them crazier. Keep your mouth shut, keep them wondering, let them say whatever they want, let them spread rumors, because real mother fuckers know exactly who they are and don’t need to show anyone otherwise. Control? They don’t have the control over their own lives like you do, they can’t execute their thoughts and feelings like you can, that’s what they want and what they try to get out of you, cute isn’t it? These people aren’t real, not at all.
So put up a big middle finger to these fuckers. A significant other? Most people at your age just aren’t wise enough to truly be your significant other. Get YOUR priorities straight first, achieve the success that YOU want to achieve first, put YOURSELF in front of everyone else, let them think what they want to think and just keep your mouth shut and your feelings and thoughts to yourself. If you want ass then go find dumb bitches that want to play mind games with you, fuck them and ignore them, most of these girls love to be degraded. Notice how I said girls, and not women?
Commenting on your post before this one, you do need someone else to better yourself. But the people that tell you this are looking at that statement all wrong, you need other people so you can watch them like lab mice and learn from their actions so you can put that shit towards your skyscraper of experience. Do you now see why they are where they are and you are where you are? They call you emotionless, heartless, and a fucking brick wall because they aren’t playing this game of life correctly. CHA-CHING.
Here’s a huge quote for you to think over:
“You may delay, but time will not.” - Benjamin Franklin
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
A real gangsta-ass nigga plays his cards right
A real gangsta-ass nigga never runs his fuckin mouth
Cuz real gangsta-ass niggas don’t start fights
And niggas always gotta high cap
Showin’ all his boys how he shot em
But real gangsta-ass niggas don’t flex nuts
Cuz real gangsta-ass niggas know they got em
And everythings cool in the mind of a gangsta
Cuz gangsta-ass niggas think deep
Up three-sixty-five a year 24/7
Cuz real gangsta ass niggas don’t sleep
And all I gotta say to you
Wannabe, gonnabe, cocksuckin’, pussy-eatin’ prankstas
Is when the fire dies down what the fuck you gonna do
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Comment by Corey on 28 June 2007:
Hey man, I know exactly how you feel. As gay as it may sound, we’ve have a lot of the same shit happen in the past. We found computers for different reasons, but from dropping out of high school, starting successful websites, and learning that the majority of your “friends” are really just moochers. Hell, we both do similar photography…it’s nuts.
I think the single biggest difference between us is that I’ve never taken shit from people, despite the fact that taking some shit might have saved me even more shit. My parents always said to fight for what I believe in and to stick up for myself and it’s really the best advice I could possibly give anybody. If you don’t stick up for what you believe in then you just get lost. What else is there really? If you’re not happy with yourself you can’t possibly be happy with anything else.
As far as relationships go, there are 6 billion people in the world. It’s a shame that the majority of them are morons, but there are still plenty out there that aren’t. Grab a pen and paper and just start writing…what drives you nuts about people you’ve been in relationships with…what did you like…and what type of person do you want that person to be. If you write it out, it feels so much more real and it’ll help you keep from getting into a bad relationship more often than not.
Whoever you meet though, you just have to make sure you voice your opinion loud and clear. If you don’t, your voice is lost, and with it, you.
I must give it to you though man, you really have some balls cashing out everything that you know for something you don’t. I’ve sort of done it…I quit my job and moved 2,000 miles across the country. It didn’t work out like I had hoped, but it’s an experience I appreciate and I have learned from. I’m sure that with your skills and mentality you’ll have no trouble wherever you go to.
As far as looking for some type of partner…I would love to work with you man. Not for the money. Not for your website. Not even really for your skills. Just because finding people in this world that are truly motivated and driven to succeed really isn’t as easy as it seems and you really are one of them. We’ve got to stick together, lest we be drug down into the meandering through life that most people succumb to.
Comment by anon on 28 June 2007:
I am interested in this business thing, I am also involved in web design/internet marketing etc run a network of sites.. I actually have bought an ad on MSS before
Send me an email and we can chat
Also, we have a similar passion for work, motivation, attitude on life .. so it’ll be interesting to finally chat after following your blog sometime now and this is my first comment.
Comment by Danny on 30 June 2007:
Well wat is money really good for anyway except for the people who work at King Sooper and cant get anyone anyway ! lol Money and ambition come from insecurity in oneself -most people r happy with life if they werent everyone would be rich!! Since u r in the nuveau riche mood u can now see the unhappiness money can cause- as they say it is lonely at the top –I always bet my friends whn we see a Porshe that the guy driving it is ugley and I always win–sad sad sad maybe u will find happiness within urself most pople that feel the need for money dont but hopefully u will=======================
Comment by Andy on 9 July 2007:
Met you @ the NOPI show. Interested in hearing you out on your idea. Maybe we can do business together.
Comment by Joe Jackson on 11 July 2007:
Amen, well said…
Comment by Jordan on 14 August 2007:
Hey.. I was just reading some of your ‘personal’ about me stuff.. you seem so high strung.. just relax.. :OP Have a little bit of fun.. you should work to live not live to work babe.. Just a suggestion
Have a nice day though
Comment by Jordan on 14 August 2007:
haha I know I just left a comment but I thought of something else, I do love your work, I thought I would let you know. But after reading further.. there are a lot of people that have been through a lot in their lives.. while there are also others that haven’t. You gotta think of the positives even if it is hard.. I mean in some way or another SOMEONE helped or assisted you in getting where you are today.. Isolation is not the key to happiness darlin’. And as for women, not all of us are that terrible.. You just have to find one that is on the same level as you are..
Gotta get pricked by a few thorns to find the rose hon..
Alright I really am done this time.. that was my two cents, whether you take it or leave it is up to you.
Take Care
Comment by Freeman on 27 August 2007:
hey man
I just found your blog and I admire you alot bro. I was actually doing amateur website design for awhile and moved on to start my own clothing line as well. I think its amazing what you have accomplished thus far as I am the same age as you and have not yet accomplished the success that you have. Keep your head up man and don’t let people jerk you around.
Good Luck and Prosperity
Comment by Andrew Fashion on 19 September 2007:
Thanks everyone
Updates coming!